The Golden Hour is the uninterrupted skin-to-skin time experienced by mother and baby in the hour immediately following birth.

As mothers of preemies, we often wait for days, and sometimes weeks to hold our babies for the first time.

And though we’ve waited, when the time comes for us to revisit the golden hour we missed following our births, we feel just as bonded to our babies, and the moment is equally unforgettable.

Amber Vogler

Amber Vogler gave birth to identical twin girls prematurely.

During your pregnancy, when you thought about meeting your babies for the first time, what did you hope for, what did you see?

I hoped to deliver VBAC, healthy babies I could cuddle and take home. Everything would be picture perfect. And my family would be complete.

How many weeks pregnant were you when you gave birth?

30 weeks and 6 days

What were your babies’ birth weights?

3lbs 3oz and 3lbs 2oz

When did you see your babies for the first time?

For a brief second after the c-section, and then 12-hours later.

Do you remember the first time you touched your babies?

Yes. I held their little hands on my finger.

Were you able hold your babies immediately after the birth?

No, I held one after my catheter was removed at 12 hours. And the other 2 days later when she was a little more stable.

How did it feel, to finally hold your babies in your arms?

Relieved to hold my baby that was breathing on her own. Scared to hold my baby on cpap.

What would you say to the mother, who’s just given birth prematurely and hasn’t held her baby yet?

It gets better. Just being there for your baby is all they need. When their little body is ready you will get to hold them.

Victoria Chestnut

Victoria’s son Kylor Barry was born unexpectedly premature at 34 weeks for an unknown reason. He struggled in the NICU with jaundice and temperature regulation before being discharged 3 weeks after his birth.

During your pregnancy, when you thought about meeting your baby for the first time, what did you hope for?

I hoped for that special moment when you get to hold your baby for the first time, snuggle with them, latch them. The moment you don’t have to give them away to anyone and that babe becomes everything.

How many weeks pregnant were you when you gave birth?

34 weeks

What was your baby’s birth weight?

4lbs 11oz

Were you able to see, touch or hold your baby immediately after the birth?

He was placed on my chest for about 30 seconds. I looked and I was like he can’t breathe he’s choking. The NICU team was already trying to rush and get him but that made them pick up speed. They took him away and his Dad followed him.

When did you see your baby again after he was rushed to the NICU?

It was roughly an hour after he was born when my fiancé was able to take me down to the NICU to see him.

Do you remember the first time you touched your baby?

The first time was terrifying because he was choking, he wasn’t crying and he couldn’t breathe. They took him away so quickly when they realized after I told them. It was an experience like no other.

How many days old was your baby when you held him the first time?

1 day old.

How did it feel, to finally hold your baby in your arms?

When I was able to finally hold him and snuggle him I was so relieved. He was okay. He was clean, he fell asleep on me. He was finally here. He was my baby.

What would you say to the mother, who’s just given birth prematurely and hasn’t held her baby yet?

Visit them, hold their hand. Talk to them. Because that moment when you finally get them in your arms is the best moment you will have. It’s a feeling like no other.

Vicky Athanasiadou

During your pregnancy, when you thought about meeting your baby for the first time, what did you hope for, what did you see?

I constantly dreamed of breastfeeding him.

How many weeks pregnant were you when you gave birth?

24w+3

What was your baby’s birth weight?

850g

Were you able to see, touch or hold your baby immediately after the birth?

Yes, I saw him and then they rushed him to the NICU.

When did you see your baby for the first time?

At birth and then again more than 24 hours later when I was able to stand up and walk to the NICU.

Do you remember the first time you touched your baby?

Very clearly.

How many days old was your baby when you held him the first time?

42 days old.

How did it feel, to finally hold your baby in your arms?

It was the best day of my life so far!

What would you say to the mother, who’s just given birth prematurely and hasn’t held her baby yet?

It’s worth the wait!

Carrita Flie

During your pregnancy, when you thought about meeting your baby for the first time, what did you hope for, what did you see?

After having two miscarriages, I just prayed that I’d be able to give birth to strong and healthy baby. I prayed for a full term pregnancy and no complications.

How many weeks pregnant were you when you gave birth?

26

What was your baby’s birth weight?

1lb 13oz

Were you able to see, touch or hold your baby immediately after the birth?

No.

Do you remember the first time you touched your baby?

Absolutely. I remember it vividly.

When did you see your baby for the first time?

I saw him the day after giving birth and it was 19 days before I could hold him.

How did it feel, to finally hold your baby in your arms?

I was ecstatic but terrified at the same time. He was so fragile and full of wires.

What would you say to the mother, who’s just given birth prematurely and hasn’t held her baby yet?

I know that it’s incredibly hard, but the moment you finally hold them it will be unforgettable!

Paula Cruz

During your pregnancy, when you thought about meeting your baby for the first time, what did you hope for, what did you see?

I thought the first time meeting Cédrik would be in the delivery room with the doctor putting him on my chest so we could bond while my husband would be hugging us after cutting the umbilical cord.

How many weeks pregnant were you when you gave birth?

27 weeks

What was your baby’s birth weight?

720 g

Were you able to see, touch or hold your baby immediately after the birth?

No, I wasn’t aware in the moment of birth, I lost too much blood and probably passed out.

When did you see your baby for the first time?

48 hours after in the incubator.

Do you remember the first time you touched your baby?

Yes, it was 3 days after he was born and he was doing his “solarium” 😀 UV lights for the skin and I touched his feet.

How many days old was your baby when you held him the first time?

It was 21 days after he was born and I for some reason decided on that day to go a little bit prettier to the hospital and when we arrived there the nurse asked if I wanted to hold him, I had no fear or concerns I just wanted to hold him finally.

How did it feel, to finally hold your baby in your arms?

It felt right it felt warm and loving a great accomplishment.

What would you say to the mother, who’s just given birth prematurely and hasn’t held her baby yet?

It will happen sooner then you expect but it will happen. Don’t worry about anything, just enjoy the moment, take as many pictures as you can, and keep something that’s allowed in the incubator in your bra, so when you leave, he or she will still feel you around.

Noemi Becerra

During your pregnancy, when you thought about meeting your baby for the first time, what did you hope for, what did you see?

I just wanted to see her. See her moving and breathing. All I saw was beauty and a miracle.

How many weeks pregnant were you when you gave birth?

27

What was your baby’s birth weight?

2 lbs 3 oz

Were you able to see, touch or hold your baby immediately after the birth?

No

When did you see your baby for the first time?

On day two after birth.

Do you remember the first time you touched your baby?

Yes

How many days old was your baby when you held her the first time?

On day 3 after birth.

How did it feel, to finally hold your baby in your arms?

I felt complete. I cried.

What would you say to the mother, who’s just given birth prematurely and hasn’t held her baby yet?

You’re not alone. There are so many moms feeling what you feel. Look for support in other NICU mommies. And don’t give up. Never lose faith. Stay strong… You’re baby is stronger than you think. They were born fighters and they will conquer the world.

Katie Freeman

During your pregnancy, when you thought about meeting your baby for the first time, what did you hope for, what did you see?

I was planning to have a repeat section, I hoped for the opportunity to transition to skin-to-skin ASAP. My baby came out at 60% O2 sat, was immediately put on oxygen.

How many weeks pregnant were you when you gave birth?

36

What was your baby’s birth weight?

6 lb 4 oz

When did you see your baby for the first time?

Saw baby right after birth, it was 18 hours later I was able to visit her in the NICU.

Were you able to touch or hold your baby immediately after the birth?

Yes, momentarily, I was able to hold her for 1 minute before she was taken to the NICU.

How many days old was your baby the next time you were able to hold her?

2 days

How did it feel, to finally hold your baby in your arms?

Uncertain, amazing, scary, complicated. However, I was then informed that she got too cold while I was holding her and they would need to be more careful next time, which shook my confidence.

What would you say to the mother, who’s just given birth prematurely and hasn’t held her baby yet?

You are his/her mom no matter what they are going through. Lean into this time and know that every little thing you can do to help is an act of love. Learn everything you can now so that when you can hold her, when you take her home when you have to manage her health independently, you are ready. Soak it all in, and don’t be afraid to cry. Processing your emotions now is so important!

Ashley Willis

During your pregnancy, when you thought about meeting your baby for the first time, what did you hope for, what did you see?

I hoped that he would be born and be immediately put on my chest so that I could love on him.

How many weeks pregnant were you when you gave birth?

31 weeks

What was your baby’s birth weight?

4lb 6.4 oz

Were you able to see, touch or hold your baby immediately after the birth?

I saw him for a second but did not get to hold or touch him.

When did you see your baby for the first time?

I saw him when he was born but didn’t really get to see him until he was 24 hours old.

Do you remember the first time you touched your baby?

Yes! It was when I saw him when he was 24 hours old.

How many days old was your baby when you held him the first time?

I held my son when he was 7 days old for the first time.

How did it feel, to finally hold your baby in your arms?

It was overwhelming and scary. He had so many wires and tubes and was so small.

What would you say to the mother, who’s just given birth prematurely and hasn’t held her baby yet?

Take pictures!!! You’ll treasure those forever!

Merrissa Shutt

Merrissa welcomed her baby girl prematurely after being induced due to preeclampsia.

During your pregnancy, when you thought about meeting your baby for the first time, what did you hope for, what did you see?

I imagined immediately holding her and having skin-to-skin time. I was looking forward to begin breast feeding, bonding with her, and having that time to memorize every little feature on her face.

How many weeks pregnant were you when you gave birth?

28 weeks

What was your baby’s birth weight?

7lbs 15.5oz

Were you able to see, touch or hold your baby immediately after the birth?

No, I was not.

When did you see your baby for the first time?

I briefly got to hold her before they took her to the NICU to prep for transporting her to a higher level NICU hospital.

Do you remember the first time you touched your baby?

I was able to briefly touch her before they transported her, after that I was kept at the birth hospital for 2 days before I could go to the hospital she was at. Then the moment I was able to go see her, I was bombarded with doctors.

How many days old was your baby when you held him/her the first time?

3 days

How did it feel, to finally hold your baby in your arms?

Overwhelming. Scared. There were tons of cords and wires and I was angry she was in pain.

What would you say to the mother, who’s just given birth prematurely and hasn’t held her baby yet?

That it’s ok to be angry, but your baby will know who you are. That even though it feels like a piece is missing right now, you will have lots of time to make up for it. Your baby will not forget you.

Ashley Doelling

Ashley Doelling is a Kansas City, MO-based Postpartum Doula, and mother of 2.

 

During your pregnancy, when you thought about meeting your baby for the first time, what did you hope for, what did you see?

I was planning for an unmedicated birth. I saw myself laboring around a hospital room, maybe on a birth ball; in my mind it was like all of the birthing videos you see floating around social media. I would push, baby would come, I would cry and laugh, my partner would cry and laugh, and we would just be euphoric.

How many weeks pregnant were you when you gave birth?

I was 28 weeks and 5 days.

What was your baby’s birth weight?

He was 1lb 15oz or 899g.

Were you able to see, touch or hold your baby immediately after the birth?

No, sadly I wasn’t. I was under general anesthesia from an emergency C-section.

When did you see your baby for the first time?

I had him on a Friday at 5:09am and it was Saturday afternoon before they let me out of bed to see him.

Do you remember the first time you touched your baby?

Yes I do. They rolled me up to the isolette. I was still weak from being bedridden for 4 days and having just had surgery. The nurse asked if I wanted to touch him and of course I said, “yes” though I was very nervous. I put my hand in and gently stroked him. The nurse then told me that because his skin was so thin that I needed to gently pat him and not rub. I was afraid I had broken him. It stuck with me for a while.

 

How many days old was your baby when you held him/her the first time?

He was 6 days old when I “held” him, which was really just lifting him up through the isolette so that the nurse could change his bedding. The first time I held him in my arms was when he was 12 days old.

How did it feel, to finally hold your baby in your arms?

Looking through my journal, this is how I described it, “it was such a happy feeling to have him in my arms, and it made me feel a bit more like a mom. I hoped that he was comforted, that I wasn’t a stranger to him, that he knew I was his mom.” I remember being concerned about the CPAP and IVs and whether he was cold or I would break him but overall it was excitement. It was the first time I really felt I could bond with him.

What would you say to the mother, who’s just given birth prematurely and hasn’t held her baby yet?

I would say, “Mama, I know your heart is hurting and that you might be angry, sad, resentful, and every emotion in between. You have a right to feel everything you are feeling. No one expects you to hide those emotions. Let them out. Have a good cry. Scream in the shower if you need to. And when you are ready, sit down next to your amazing little fighter, touch them with a touch that only a mother has. Feel your fingers on their skin and know that the day will come when you can wrap that baby in your arms and never have to let them go. But for now, just be there.”

https://www.instagram.com/kcpostpartumcare/
https://www.facebook.com/kcpostpartumcare/