You hired a night nanny, and it isn’t working out. This is more common than most parents realize.
By the time families contact me, they’re typically in one of two positions.
Either they have already lost trust and ended the contract, or they are still working with their overnight caregiver and trying to figure out whether the situation is fixable.
When Your Night Nanny Isn’t the Right Fit
In many cases, it’s rarely about whether a caregiver is “good” or “bad.” More often, it’s a mismatch between role and expectations.
You asked for gentle sleep support, but your night nanny isn’t working the way you expected. For example, you want to follow your baby’s cues, yet your newborn care specialist is following Babywise.
Other times, issues arise because expectations weren’t clearly outlined. Some families expect an overnight caregiver to stay awake all night without any breaks. In reality, most caregivers rest once the baby and parents are settled and they’ve finished up tasks like storing milk or washing bottles.
Sometimes care itself raises legitimate safety concerns. One family I worked with had a baby with reflux. Their initial provider wasn’t following current safe sleep guidance. Once we restructured the nights, around safe sleep and reflux management, mom’s anxiety resolved.
Should You Try Again, or Is This Unfixable?
Replacing overnight newborn care may feel disruptive, but it’s common and entirely workable. The key is identifying what model of care you actually want before rehiring.
Overnight caregivers, like newborn care specialists (night nurses) and night nannies, usually focus on taking over baby care 100%. In my work as a postpartum doula, I teach parents how to handle nights confidently while still getting their rest. This distinction matters because the results are different.
With task-based care, the caregiver does everything for your baby while you sleep, but you might not know what to do once they leave.
With education-focused care, you’re learning what works for your baby while getting support that meets you where you are each night.
What to Do If You’re in This Position
First, get clear on what you actually want from overnight support.
Make a list of three deal breakers for your caregiver.
For example:
1) The caregiver must teach me what they’re doing so I learn how to handle nights on my own.
2) The caregiver must follow safe sleep guidelines.
3) The caregiver must respect my boundaries.
Once you define this, it becomes much easier to see whether the support you hired actually fits or what to look for in the next person.
